A few years ago I designed a children’s rest mat for my daughter. She needed one for her classroom and I was unsatisfied with the ones available at the time. By the end of the school year I decided I would make more and sell them. I picked a name for my business and filled for an LLC, over the next few months I created some prototype designs and had a focus groups of moms check out what I was doing. That was over a year ago!! I was excited but also had anxiety about taking the steps necessary to go forward with the project. It is only recently, in the last couple of months that I have actually taken some solid steps to see this thing come to fruition. I have a quilter and manufacturer chosen; I also have accounts set up with fabric reps. I am finally getting somewhere…stay tuned!
My reason for procrastinating was fear.
I often had a pity party for myself citing the reasons I could not do this on my own. I still had a little one home with me. I wasn’t sure where to go or who to call to start the process. What If no one likes the mats? What if I don’t sell any? No matter what reason I came up with it never made the desire to pursue this business idea go away.
I have felt the same way about writing.
I decided to start blogging a few years ago. I excitedly told my friends about the idea, they thought it was nice but never seemed all that interested in following up to see if I was coming along with it. I didn’t receive any feedback from my first couple of posts from the people I thought I could count on for encouragement. I let fear of rejection discourage me. I threw another pity party… for two years, sporadically writing, making excuses but again still driven by the desire to do this.
Grace is activated when you move towards the desires you have and the actions called for by God.
I started to pray about these projects instead of run from them or make excuses about them. I took steps towards the big ideas. As I did this I started to tap into God’s empowering presence, enabling me to be who I was created to be, and to do what I have called to do. I finally made a commitment to do these things that I felt lead to.
I struggle with feelings that I should be well established already in both the business and my blog by now. I wonder if I have missed my window of opportunity. I grieve over the lost time not trusting God to show up and lend a hand. I question whether I can continue with either because they both require more of me than I am used to giving. But that is where God’s GRACE comes in. I am maturing in discipline and commitment. I am maturing in trust. I am seeing God’s provisions in each other these areas.
I am depending on GRACE like never before.
What is in your heart that you need God’s Grace to birth?
Day 10: Activating Grace Through Rest
This is a post in the 31 Days of Transforming Grace. Click here to see a list of other posts in the series. If you would like to hear about what I am learning about GRACE in your e-mail inbox, subscribe above.
photo credit: Cláudia*~Assad via photopin cc