In the beginning of
I posted on sufficiency. I used the Bible and the dictionary to acknowledge that God’s Grace is sufficient – more than enough to
meet the needs of any situation leading to the proposed end. While I personally know that God’s GRACE is sufficient and understand the triggers of it, I find I am not always walking in it. I have come to that conclusion because I still have a hard time taking the day off
and even when I do sit down to rest my mind is still racing. I am making lists in my heads - what needs to be done to get ready for the upcoming school week or who I have to call the next day. Instead of looking forward to the exciting things that I will be doing in the weeks to come I am agonizing over what it will take to prepare. UGH!
My unrest comes from not trusting in His sufficiency; just knowing about His GRACE not enough.
Here are some of the things I thought of this morning as I considered the burden I seem to be carrying:
- It will never get done if I don’t do it.
- No one is going to help me anyway; I will just do it yourself.
- I want it to be done my way.
- People have discouraged me in the past. I will do it myself because I am not going to take the chance that others will not like this idea or the way I am doing it.
- I want others to see and be impressed with what I can accomplish.
I have believed these lies because of things I have experienced, people I have trusted that have not come through for me (at least not in the way I thought they should). As a result I have become self sufficient. Healthy boundaries and realistic expectations in relationships are one thing but this is not what I am dealing with here. I have made agreements with these lies and it has changed the way I deal with people but more importantly it has changed how I relate to God.
My habit of self sufficiency prevents me from leaning into GRACE.
Until I recognize these lies and stop them in their tracks through prayer, repentance and forgiveness I am stuck. My strength, trying to the right thing – to trust, will only get me so far.
Dear Lord, I recognize that I keep trying to do things on my own, whether it’s without other people or without you and I repent. I have tried to “pull up my bootstraps” instead on resting in your GRACE. Please forgive me. I forgive the people that have let me down and discouraged me. I choose to lean on you. What things need to be taken off my plate, delegated or done differently? Help me to truly trust in your sufficiency and break the habit of doing it my way.
What lies have you agreed with?
This is a post in the 31 Days of Transforming Grace. Click here to see a list of other posts in the series. If you would like to hear about what I am learning about GRACE in your e-mail inbox, subscribe above.