Filling Up


3261373417_abcf2e7cfa_zI have our bedtime routine down to a science. When there are no interruptions the kid’s fall into their place like dominos, each of their routines starting at 6:30, 7 and then 7:30. They pick out their clothes for the following day, tidy their room, brush their teeth and we read a story together. Then I am on to the next child. Everyone get ½ hour, lights are out by 7, 7:30 and then 8. It might sound rigid but it really has revolutionized our evenings. I found it was a good way to spend one-on-one time with each of them daily. The boundaries were set for me as much as for the kids.

Every once in a while I ask for help.

My husband is usually just coming home from work as I put the kids to bed. He gives them a quick hug and kisses and then settles in from a long day, changing and eating. Occasionally he’s home early or it’s the weekend and I enlist him to help “divide and conquer”. This tired momma thinks it’s a good idea to have the help when I can although is doesn’t always go as planned.

There always seems to be somebody crying from another room “I want mommy to help me brush my teeth” or “I want mommy to read me a story”. My husband is ready and available to meet their needs but they refuse. It’s stressful both for me and the little one I am spending time with. Rarely is there ever an easy fix unless I give them what they want.

Someone always ends up unhappy… Precious moments are missed.

The notion of a lightened load is quickly dispelled and replaced with a heavier burden.

God has put people in our lives to meet our relational needs.

My husband, children, friends all make my life better. My husband gives me love, affection and encouragement. My children give me endless hugs and kisses when I ask and always think I look pretty, even without any makeup. My friends make me laugh over a warm beverage, pray with me, or join me on a run…just to talk. But what happens when those people fall short?

Other people were never met to meet ALL my needs.

Take for example my husband. I put too much stress on him when I expect him to be my everything. I begin to treat him as a savior when my moods hinge on whether or not he’s “delivered” the attention or the affirmation I desire. Our relationship gets strained and why wouldn’t it? I am expecting him to meet a standard he was never design to meet.

Fullness is available when we draw close to God, learning more about Him, talking to him, and listening.

I have realized, just as my children did not allow my husband to meet their needs I don’t allow God to meet my deepest needs when I let other people move the needle on the meter of my self-worth. I love how Beth Moore puts it…it’s like walking around with an empty cup, going person to person in our lives, hoping someone will fill it. All the while God is waiting right there ready to pour out what we crave.

I am letting my Father fill me so I can be a better wife, mother, friend and encourager to others.

Today I linked up with Wifely Wednesday over at To Love Honor and Vacuum,  Head over there and check out what others have to say about marriage.

photo credit: lincolnblues via photopin cc