Every family has a particular way they work together to solve problems, achieve goals, and connect with one another. Just like business culture, family culture is created by default, subject to the whims of its members, or through intentionality.
There was a time when our busy schedule created a culture of survival in our family. We would often say to one another, “Let’s just get through this week.” The culture of our home was frantic; we were always running late, always feeling restless. After we got through one week, there was still another to follow that wasn’t much different from the one before.
We wanted so much to live well but were stuck. We let our busyness dictate to us what kind of family we were. Our life looked like good ideas with no follow through and a full calendar of doing the right things but without fulfillment or connection with one another.
A thriving family culture does not happen organically, it will not create itself. << Click to Tweet
A culture shaped by default tends to be mediocre because people, especially children tend to take the path of least resistance. To create a successful culture in our home, as the parents, we’ll need to decide what it that we want our family to look like and consistently work hard to maintain it.
When you intentionally create culture you set your people up for the highest probability of success. You give them a better chance to perform at higher levels.
Instead of having a vague sense of purpose, children in a family with a healthy, well thought out culture have a strong sense of belonging. They also have the excitement of being a part of something bigger than themselves.
We’ve often heard the comment “Well, it is what it is. There is not much I can do to change things.” This statement is not true. As parents, we have an incredible amount of influence in determining the type of life we live, and we leave that power on the table if we allow our family’s culture to be created organically, by default.
How do you cultivate the culture you want for your family?
- The first step is to determine “Am I creating my family’s culture or is it being creating for me?” You may already know the answer to that but if you don’t, this 10 Second Quiz that will help.
10 Second Culture Quiz
Answer Yes or No to the following questions:
- Our family seldom has time to spend together.
- Our family has so many individual interests that it's hard for us to find things we have in common.
- There are so many things that are important to me, but I don't have time to think about them, let alone include my family in them.
- I feel powerless over my time and commitments.
- Others often complain that our schedule doesn't allow enough time for them.
- Time is flying by, and my children don't possess the kind of character I had hoped they would.
- I often wonder if my kids/marriage/family will turn out okay.
- Everyone is doing their own thing, and I often wonder how we can stay connected.
- I sometimes feel like we are losing the battle against outside influences that don't reflect my values.
- I am unsure about the legacy I will leave behind.
8-10 Answered Yes: What are you waiting for? It's time to take back control of your family!
5-7 Answered Yes: With just a few changes you could change the course of your family.
0-4 Answered Yes: Amazing! You are on the right track!
- The second step is to check out my post on Why Family Culture Matters and How You Can Start Cultivating Yours to learn more about family culture and get the free Family Culture Discussion Sheet.
A healthy culture isn’t created overnight. It requires a daily investment of time but is definitely worth the effort. If we could do it then so can you!