Helping our Teens Discover their Passions

“Where do you want to go to college?”
“What do you want to do when you graduate?”

These are the questions friends and family are starting to ask my daughter.

I often ask her those same questions, plus…

“If you go to college, do you want to stay close to home or go far away?”
“Do you want to go to a small or big school, one in a city or suburbia?”

She doesn’t have the slightest idea; I’m not surprised because she’s only 15!

Even though I want to have this all figured out now, I’ve committed to telling my daughter that no matter what she does in life, or where she attends college, it will all work out. She need not worry, because God has a plan for her future that is “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” As she approaches adulthood, I encourage her to pray about her future and ask God to show her the dreams and passions He has placed in her heart.

I am over at Faith Gateway sharing alternative questions we can ask our teens to help them discover the passions they’ll pursue as they become adults. READ MORE…

Our Family Values: More than Words on a Piece of Paper

Our family’s mission statement is mounted in a beautiful frame in our foyer. It’s there to remind us of what we stand for and to tell others what they can expect from our family. My husband and I invested a good bit of time choosing our values and crafting them into a handful of sentences that represented us. But as I mentioned in last week’s post those words mean little if not translated into behaviors.

I am talking more about this over at Faith Gateway. I am sharing a resource that will help you introduce values to your little ones. Head over there to check out what it is.

Recognizing and Embracing My Influence in the Everyday

I felt called at a young age to work with teens, although I have never actually done it. On and off throughout the years, I tried to get involved in various youth ministries, however, it never worked out. I couldn’t understand why; I thought for sure this was where I was meant to serve.

Then the busyness of life made it easy to let go of what I thought I was called to do. Plus, I thought that investing in the next generation meant I needed to be in ministry or have an official title. 

A great talk from Anne F. Downs and friends like Elisa Pulliam have shown me I can sow into the lives of teens in the everyday mundane, outside of a structured program. God showed me that I was already doing when my heart longed to do. Join me over at More to Be where I share my story....

How to Start a Cooking Club plus Connecting with Your Child and Mentoring Others

One of the best ways I have found to connect with my kids is to embrace the things they love and participate with them in it.

I got lucky with my oldest daughter, she loves to cook. She binge watches the Food Network, goes to culinary camp, and likes to experiment with food. We cook at home together, but at times it’s sporadic because of our busy school and sports schedule. I realized that If I truly wanted to connect with my daughter and cultivate the talents she had, I needed to set aside a consistent time for her to explore her passion. So, when she was 10 years old, I started a cooking club for her and a few girls in our neighborhood.

I knew it would be a fun way to enjoy time with my daughter but I didn’t realize it would also be a great way to connect with her friends. I have known many of these girls since kindergarten, however, the cooking club has provided a unique opportunity to mentor them as well. I discovered...

You don’t need to be in ministry or have an official title to invest in the next generation. << Click to Tweet

For me, mentoring looks like teaching a group of teens how to crack an egg, sift flour, and emulsify ingredients. Each time I interact with these girls I have the opportunity to encourage them and influence them in a positive way. 

If you think starting a cooking club sounds like a great idea, check out these tips that will help get you started:

Invite kids to participate. The number of girls will depend on what you are making and how hands-on you want to be as a host. We started out with a total of 6 girls. With two girls to a “team”, we made three items: specialty drink, appetizer, entrée, side dish, or dessert. As the girls became more independent, we added an additional food item and two more to the group. 

Choose a regularly scheduled time. Keep it simple and pick the same day and time each month. At first, we tried to accommodate everybody’s schedule month by month. Eventually, it became confusing and sometimes we had to skip a month because we had trouble resolving schedule conflicts. 

Decide on a budget. It’s important to know how much you are willing to spend each month. My daughter would choose seafood and filet mignon every month if I allowed her, but when you’re cooking for a large group it can get expensive fast. You can choose whether to pay for the groceries yourself, charge monthly dues, have members bring ingredients, or take donations.

Choose meals that fit the children's age and ability. Start off with simple recipes in the beginning. Many of the girls in our group never cooked before joining our club. In the beginning, we chose recipes that required only basic culinary skills. My daughter and I taught them how to chop, dice, and properly measure ingredients. Now that the group has been together for three years, we moved on to more complex recipes that require reducing liquids and blanching vegetables. Ask about allergies before choosing the meals.

Read through recipes and create a timeline. Once you have chosen the meals make sure you have time to make everything. Don't pick recipes that need to be marinated or chilled overnight. Also, not every recipe takes the same amount of time to cook so plan accordingly. 

Set up individual stations ahead of time. Stations should include a copy of the recipe with pots, pans, utensils, and ingredients that are needed.

Confiscate phones. It’s important to be fully present essential when working with flames, hot surfaces, and knives. Our girls place their phone in a bucket as soon as they arrive. I was hesitant ask this at first, but the no one seemed to mind, now it’s routine. The only time they're allowed to use their phone is to set a timer and take pictures.

Have fun! I often find myself just running around behind the girls cleaning up. Other times I walk them through recipes teaching them tips and tricks.  

Eat together. The best part of the evening is sitting down with these young people and as they enjoy the results of their hard work. I have been tempted to hang back in the kitchen to clean up or sit somewhere else to eat. However, I realized eating together was the perfect opportunity to talk with these girls about school, favorite subjects, and sports. As our relationship has deepened we've begun to talk about the pressures they deal with at school and their relationships.

Whether you are looking for something fun to do with your child or desire a way to invest into the next generation, a cooking club is a great place to start. If cooking is not your thing, that’s ok. There are many other ways to connect with your child. Take time to discover your child’s passions and let them lead the way. 

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For more on mentoring, check out:

• Episode 018 of the Slices of Life podcast Elisa Pulliam and Biblical Mentoring
• Impact Together: Biblical Mentoring Simplified by Elisa Pulliam
• 100 Questions for Mentors
• Mentoring 101 by John C. Maxwell

The Positive Impacts of Long Distance Dating

My husband and I lived in different states when we met. While it was tough not to see each other as frequently as we would have liked, there were many advantages to dating long distance. One of them was how every step of our relationship was intentional. I am over at More to Be talking about it. I would love for you to join me there... 

Family Mission Statement and Purpose

One of my favorite things to talk about is living intentionally. Early in our marriage, my husband and I talked about the wonderful ideals we had for our family. We wanted a family that loves and serves God together, a welcoming home, and a life that prioritized relationships. Years later we found ourselves in a rut of just surviving, getting through one week after the next.

The best thing we did as a family to change that was to create a family mission statement and seek God for His purpose for our lives. We still go through seasons when we busy gets the best of us but when we recognize it we go back to our mission and purpose to reset.

We believe that God has a unique purpose for our little ones too and they don’t have to wait until they are grown-ups to figure out what it is!

I am over at Faith Gateway talking about what that looks like for us to include out kids in our family mission and purpose. I am also sharing some great resources have helped us along the way. Join me over there to read more...