How Everyday Non-Negotiables Can Change Your Outlook on Life

There was a time when my schedule was a mess. I had too much on my plate and spent every day trying to "get it all done." I had a family to take care of, a ministry to run, and big ideas with no hope of seeing them come to life.

I hired a life coach to guide me on what I should do with my online self. But I got so much more than that. One of the first things she asked me was, "What are your daily non-negotiables?" In other words, "What are the five things that must happen to feel good about your day?

Non-negotiables are decisions made in advance based on your values, beliefs, and convictions that you will not change. They are the things you will or will not do in areas of your life such as family, relationships, or business. 

I understood what a non-negotiable was; however, I'd never considered them in my daily life. At that time, everything I did was negotiable. Most days, I'd go with the flow or address only the most pressing issues, and no day ever looked the same.

With a bit of thought, I came up with my non-negotiables. The list consisted of what mattered to me. More than anything else, these things bummed me out when I didn't get to them each day.

My list included:

• Spend time with God

• Invest time in my kids – talking, reading, homework, or bedtime routines.

• Tidy (not perfect) house - everything in its place.

• Create something - write, design, or organize

• Connect with my husband

Once I assembled this list, I could use it as the framework for my day. I intentionally made time in my schedule for each of them. It took a bit of practice, but eventually, I started to see results over time. I began to see that it was possible to do what I said was important to me. 

HERE ARE 3 STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO CREATE NON-NEGOTIABLES AND GET ON TRACK:

1. Brainstorm ideas. Set aside time to think about what matters to you. What would it look like if you could design a good day, considering your responsibilities? Write down everything that comes to mind.

2. Choose five (or less) of them. That is all you need. It's better to do a few things consistently instead of taking on too many and becoming discouraged.

3. Put them in your calendar. Make an appointment with yourself and your non-negotiables. The key to leaving behind good intentions and accomplishing what matters to you is to designate a time each day to do them, even if it is not the same time every day.

Your life is a product of your routine and daily rituals. 

It takes practice to make your non-negotiables a part of your every day, but it is worth the effort, especially when they are rooted in your values. Eventually, they will become habits, and you'll begin to feel like you have control over your time and, ultimately, your life.

Once the things that mattered to me the most became a consistent part of my day, I no longer felt hopeless or like a victim of my busy schedule. I was able to have realistic expectations of what was possible to do with the rest of my time.