How to End The Sibling Fight of Who Goes First
A sign of a healthy culture is the ability to work as a team, communicate well, and get along. No matter whether your kids are toddlers or teens, deciding who goes first for almost EVERYTHING has the potential to be a disaster. These tricks have helped me end the sibling fight of who goes first.
A sign of a healthy culture is the ability to work as a team, communicate well, and get along.
No matter whether your kids are toddlers or teens, deciding who goes first for almost EVERYTHING has the potential to be a disaster. I don't know what's so special about being first, but it seems it's what most kids want to be.
I have seen my kids argue about being first to take a bath, talk at dinner, and even put sunscreen on at the pool. Not only that, they would argue over who gets to pick the music and who gets stuck sitting in the dreaded middle seat of the back seat. At first, birth order worked to decide who got to do things first, but as they got older, it didn't anymore.
My kids whined, "Mom, it's my turn; she got to do it last time." I'll have to be honest with you, I was horrible at keeping track, and I often let the child that happen to be on my good side that day get their way. The kids could see right through this, and eventually, keeping track in my head became too hard to maintain.
Then we found a solution!
We created a plan that would determine who got to go or choose first.
It is so simple but so brilliant! It immediately eliminated the bickering and little voices moaning, "Mom, she always gets to go first." It is a strategy that we could implement quickly, and it is so easy to maintain.
These tricks have helped me end the sibling fight of who goes first.
If you have two kids, Assign odd and even days of the calendar to each.
More than two? Assign each child a day of the week. My oldest daughter is first on Monday and Thursday. My middle girl on Tuesday and Friday. My son on Wednesday and Saturday. Sunday is the parent's choice. This order will help you designate who goes 2nd and 3rd too! For example, on a Monday, Ava gets to go first. Elie goes second, and Aaron goes third. Then on a Tuesday, Elie goes first, followed by Aaron later Ava.
More children? Have a straight rotation, and keep track of it on a calendar.
You can do one of these methods, or a combination of both. For example, we use the day of the week method for our children; however, my teen girls use odd and even days to determine who sits in the front seat of the car. (My son is too young to ride up front.)
Keep in mind, all days are not created equal. Weekdays are very different than weekend days, so you may need to change up the schedule now and then.
In the beginning, it is helpful to print out a calendar with assigned dates to remember which day is whose. But don't worry, it won't take long for the kids to know which day is theirs.
Just like with most systems that you put in place, it will take practice. But once it's in place, it will eliminate a considerable number of arguments that siblings have.
Watch this Family Hack on IGTV HERE
Download this Resource
You can do the steps I mentioned earlier on your own; however, If you need a little help getting started with this hack, you can download a resource have created that will help.
It includes a list of suggested chores for kids of all ages, plus an activity your kids can do to figure out what gets done and by whom. When you sign up for it, you'll get this plus access to all the previous family culture hacks videos and resources.
One Way To Get Your Chore System to Stick
I have tried a gazillion different ways to implement a chore system in our house that would stick until I did this.
I am a big fan of kids doing chores.
There are so many reasons for kids pitch in around the house. It enables them to develop life skills, it teaches them about responsibility and self-reliance, and it cultivates a strong work ethic.
But most of all I like about my kids doing chores around the house is that it lightens my workload.
Over the years, I've tried a gazillion different ways to implement a chore system that would stick. At first, I had the kids pick chores from a jar. This method worked for a while, but eventually, the kids started to complain that it wasn't fair because some of them would end up picking the same thing "all the time."
After that, I tried a chart system with different types of rewards, such as a small toy from a treasure chest, screen time, and even money. Again they worked for a little while, but they lost interest and I wasn't super consistent with maintaining this system because it was too much work.
Two things changed all this.
I decided that my kids doing chores was a non-negotiable. I went back to my why of chores. It was something that I thought was important, and I determined that I couldn't let the push back, the bickering, and the work it took to establish this practice deter me from making it happen.
I gave my kids the responsibility of creating the system we were going to use. Giving them ownership of the process was a game-changer. I sat down with my kids, and I gave them a list of chores that I wanted them to do. We talked about each task and why it was essential to do it. We talked about how and when it should get done, and I asked for feedback.
The final list that we came up included nine daily chores that were to be done throughout the day and after dinner, plus three more to do on Saturday mornings.
My kids were concerned about the grouping of chores, so they divided up which ones went together and then created a rotation.
The chores on this list weren't different from the ones I was already asking them to do. However, my kids' attitude shifted because I gave them a say in what we were doing, what it would look like, and what worked for them.
The magic was in giving them a say in the decision making process and power to implement the system they created.
Here's how you can find a chore system that sticks:
Make a list of the things that need to get done.
Brainstorm what it looks like to do that thing. Who does it? When should it take place? And what happens if someone doesn't do their part?
Group the chores together. Arrange them so that the workload is equal. For example, no one child should have all the undesirable duties in the same week.
Create a rotation. Based on the number of chores and children rotate who does what for a weekly rotation.
Write it down. Once you have written it down, post it somewhere you can all see it.
You can take these steps for any project where multiple family members and responsibilities are involved. It will give kids ownership of what you are doing together, which will ultimately help them become and stay engaged.
Giving my kids ownership in this process eliminated a lot of the bickering and complaining, but it didn't make them all of a sudden love chores.
Patience and consistency are vital to seeing long term success in this area.
Resist the urge to take things over because you can do it better and faster. The good habits your kids are creating by doing chores are more important than satisfying our short-term desires.
I explain it on IGTV HERE
Download this Resource
You can do the steps I mentioned earlier on your own; however, If you need a little help getting started with this hack, you can download a resource have created that will help.
It includes a list of suggested chores for kids of all ages, plus an activity your kids can do to figure out what gets done and by whom. When you sign up for it, you'll get this plus access to all the previous family culture hacks videos and resources.
Two Things That Will Help You Empower Your Family Members
Culture is meant to bridge the gap between the "rules" and the unexpected scenarios you'll face. But it will only do that when you empower the people in your organization or your family. That means giving your people permission to take action and make decisions without your constant input, and with little oversight.
In some companies, when you start a job, there is an employee handbook. It included policies and procedures. It is an incredible resource, but even the most thorough manuals can't prepare you for every situation.
We see this in family life, as well. As your kids get older, we will not be there to tell them what to do in every situation. The more they are outside our home, the less control we have over the choices they make. PLUS, as technology changes both as kids and parents, we will experience things we didn't know were possible.
Culture is meant to bridge the gap between the "rules" and the unexpected scenarios you'll face.
But it will only do that when you empower the people in your organization or your family. That means giving your people permission to take action and make decisions without your constant input, and with little oversight.
Some of you may already be freaking out about this idea, and I get it. In families, you're not working with qualified employees that you handpicked and hired, you are dealing with children. And it's scary to let go of control.
However, the best leaders don't delegate tasks, they delegate authority. You can do that in your family when you create clarity and trust in your culture.
At every stage of parenting, we let go of control. The ages of your children will determine just how much authority you give away.
When we empower other people (employees, children, and even your spouse) we:
Free up mental capacity
An example of this is how we've given our children the authority to make financial decisions. For different ages, there are different levels of responsibility.
When our kids were little, I taught them how to manage money. Each week I gave them a dollar in dimes and showed them how to give 10%, save 10%, and spend 80%. As they got older, they had more money to give, save, and spend, and we continued to teach them how to be wise with their money by giving them various budgets to manage.
Along the way, I resisted the urge to micro-manage the process.
Now our kids are in high school; they are responsible for additional categories. We figured out how much we spend on them in a calendar year, and they manage it. They go to the bank, withdraw what they need for the month, and divide it up in their cash envelopes. It's now their job to make the hard choices of what they can and can't do with it.
It is so lovely not to be continuously asked for money to do and buy things. Our kids have been empowered to make their own choices. They have freedom within the boundaries of our values.
Promotes growth
Those who are controlled won't grow as leaders. You can either have control or growth, but you can't have both.
Controlling creates passive followers, BUT empowerment creates faith-filled leaders.
Often when you empower people, the right people, they will eventually do it better than you do. Honestly, I hope our kids avoid the financial mistakes we make and do a better job of managing money then we've done.
The strength of your family is not tied to how much you control but to who you empower.
Two things that are crucial when empowering your people is:
1. Communicate with Clarity. This ensures that your work is aligned with your values, your goals, and your mission. It's important to communicate what you need and expect from others in a way that they understand.
Clarity without trust creates fear without action.
If you give your people a task or responsibility but micromanage how they get it done, they won't take risks required to build confidence in this area.
2. Extend trust. When trusted family members are eager to embrace the values and beliefs, you are teaching them.
Trust without clarity results in work without direction. Your kids and other family members will become robots doing what they are told but never taking ownership or embracing the values behind the ask.
Trust takes a willingness to let go of control, which is hard. If you struggle with this, ask yourself, "What is the most important win needed in this season?" "And am I willing to experience a temporary loss of excellence or effectiveness to see growth?"
As parents, our goal here is to guard the values, but slowly, surrender the control.
This often looks like taking two steps forward and one step back.
When our kids were first starting doing chores, it was hard not to take over and do things ourselves because we knew we could do it easier and fast. But the point of giving them chores to do was NOT so that we could have a perfectly clean house. But to cultivate teamwork, to teach them how to take responsibility for their environment.
Will your kids (or other family members) under-deliver? Will they make mistakes? YES. That's okay!
Family culture isn't about behavior modification or perfection, it's about passing down a set of values and beliefs that your children will embrace, take ownership of, and run with.
If you would like to start empowering the members of your family today, ask yourself:
What is the most essential win needed in your family?
Am I holding back, or are my standards too high? They choose 1 or 2 things that you can teach others and delegate it to them.
PREFER THE EASE OF LISTENING TO READING?
No problem! Just click to play to hear this episode of The Family Culture Project podcast >> Creating a Culture that Empowers Your Kids.
Be sure to subscribe to the show in iTunes or your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode.
A Creative Way to Encourage Your Family Members
Good leaders, including parents, should always be on the lookout for ways to encourage, affirm, recognize, and appreciate their people. Here’s a way to make it easy to encourage your family members even when life gets busy.
Encouragement is essential for members of an organization or a family to feel valued and seen.
Good leaders, including parents, should always be on the lookout for ways to encourage, affirm, recognize, and appreciate their people.
I believe encouragement matters, but I am always necessarily consistent with following through. I want to be, but my problem is I get busy. Plus, it's difficult for me to come up with compliments and encouragement on the fly. Some days I am good at it, while others I am not.
I can either settle for, 'Well, that's just the way I am." or I can find a way to make it easy for me to encourage and praise the people I love.
Going out of my way to serve my people in this way has the potential to feel like another thing on my to-do list; however, I have found a way to make it both easy and fun.
I prepare ahead of time. I write words of thanks and appreciation on sticky notes and leave them in random places for my people to read. It's a simple but powerful way to affirm and recognize my kids and husband for the ways they shine.
Try this trick and let me know how it works for you.
You'll need a pen and paper, a marker, and a stack of sticky notes.
Here’s how you can do it too:
Create a list. Write down about 25 encouraging phrases for the members of your family. These can be as simple as, "You are so talented!' or they can be more specific like, "I love the way you serve us! You always ask if I need a drink when you one for yourself."
Copy these phrases on to sticky notes. One sentence for each sheet. You can also doodle on them and add stickers if you'd like. Stack them back together, and now you're ready to give a compliment when the time is right. You can stick these in your kid's lunch, on the bathroom mirror, or on your spouse's nightstand.
Start over again. Once you run out of encouraging phrases, make another list, and do it again.
Your family members may not mention the notes they receive, but that's okay. Play it cool. When I first started putting notes in my kids' lunchboxes, I couldn't wait for them to come home to school to tell me how much they loved them. However, it took them weeks to even acknowledge them. They were reading them and being encouraged, and that's what matters.
If you do this, it won't take long before you see the atmosphere in your home change. By focusing on the positive and recognizing your family members on a regular, ongoing basis, you will help them feel build confidence in themselves in your relationship. They will eventually become more connected and engaged with you and with one another.
If you need a little help getting started with, you can download a FREE list of encouraging phrases for your family members here.
You'll get this list plus access to other family hacks videos and resources that will help you build your best family.
It's Never to Late to Take Control of Your Family's Culture
Hands down the ideal time to start imagining, building, and creating your family's culture is when you first start your family. Then as time passes and you go through different seasons it’s crucial to revisit your values, beliefs, and practices that you have in your home.
It's amazing if you're able to do that however, what if you hadn't? Don’t worry We’re here today to tell you that is never too late to take control of your family culture and begin to lead it with purpose and intention.
Hands down the ideal time to start imagining, building, and creating your family's culture is when you first start your family. Then as time passes and you go through different seasons of life, it's crucial to revisit your values, beliefs, and practices that you have in your home.
It's terrific to start building your family's culture early, but what if you haven't?
We have older kids, and so do many of our friends. When we talk with them about their family and making changes, they often say, "I wish I knew about culture earlier, it's too late now." or "There's not much we can do now, our kids already in middle school (or high school)."
It doesn't matter what stage you are are in your family. You can begin to imagine, plan, and build your best family right now!
There are benefits to building your family culture when your kids are older.
You can include them in the conversation. Kids are smarter than you think, and they get culture. Try naming a few family friends and ask the kids what comes to mind when you think of them. They will be able to tell you immediately. Follow up with the question, "What do you want our family to be known for?" They will often bring creative ideas to the table, things you'd never think of.
Feedback from them on what's working and what's not working. Kids have the uncanny ability to be brutally honest. If they feel that their thoughts and opinions are valued, they will tell you like it is. An outside perspective will give you incredible insight into what is worth keeping in your every day and what you should get rid of.
We do this at our weekly Family Meeting each week - Once a week, we get together to discuss our family's schedule and let each other what is going on in our world. (Our Family Meeting Guide, which included discussion ideas and sample agendas is available as a free download HERE.)
So if you're tempted to say it's too late to take control of your family's culture, think again!
Older children are an incredible asset in building your family's culture.
Creating change when some in the family are set in their ways may be difficult at first. However, ask yourself, Why am I doing this? What is the value that this satisfies? Is this discomfort worth the result? The answer is likely, yes!
Culture building is not a one and done deal.
Even if you started earlier, you'd still have to revisit the values, beliefs, and practices that you have in your home. Do they still hold true? Do I need to make adjustments to navigate the different seasons of life? Is what I am doing still working?
Here are a few easy steps to help you take control of your family's culture:
Assess your current reality. What is it that you enjoy or are already doing well? Lean into that. Does your family like to play games together? Do you enjoy camping and hiking together? Does volunteering bring your family closer together? Do more of it and invite friends to join you. Also, figure out what you don't love and do less of it, or stop doing it altogether.
Imagine your future. What's one or two new things that you would like to see show up in your family? This could be a values practice or a cultural practice.
You don't have to go crazy, reimagining your family life. Implementing one thing through small, consistent steps has a more significant impact than trying to do a gazillion things at once.
Reinforce your values. Be on the lookout for something your child or spouse does that aligns with your family values. Let them know you see it and you appreciate it.
For example: To reinforce the value of excellence, you could say, "Wow, you did a great job with that, thanks for taking care of that so quickly." OR if you want to start being on time, you could say, "It's so nice to be on time, isn't it?"
And, when you do the things you enjoy, talk about why they are so fun and what you love about them.
For example: After we travel, we talk about our favorite moments, what we would have done differently, and what we want to do next. It keeps us excited about what we shared but also allows us to imagine what we'll do together in the future.
What you pay attention to and acknowledge will grow.
Start making your family decisions based on what matters to you. It’s so much easier to make decisions when you predetermine what's important to you. Ask yourself, “Does this choice line up with our family values and what we want to build together?”
If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment, close your eyes, and imagine what your life will be like one year from now if you start making changes today. Let that motivate you to take your first small step!
When you start making changes, no matter how small, you may be tempted to give up if you don’t see progress right away. Don’t do it. Be patient with the process.
An easy way to get started is to download the Family Culture Discussion sheet. In less than 30 minutes, you able to clarify what you want your family to be known for.
Prefer the ease of listening to reading?
No problem! Just click to play to hear this episode of The Family Culture Project podcast >> It’s Never Too Late to Build Your Family’s Culture. Be sure to subscribe to the show in iTunes or your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode.
How to Teach Kids How to Abide in Christ
A while back a friend of mine got a dog. To say a few things changed when Marley arrived is an understatement. As I read the series of Facebook posts that followed in the days after Marley’s arrival I was reminded of what it means to abide in Christ. Join me over at Faith Gateway as I share what I learned. There’s also some tips on how we cant teach our kids to abide in Christ too!
A while back a friend of mine got a dog. To say a few things changed when Marley arrived is an understatement. Thanks to status updates everyday, I’ve been able to “meet” her. Not only do I get to see how adorable she is but I also get a peek into the adventures this family is having as they enjoy the newest member of their household.
As I read the series of Facebook posts that followed in the days after Marley’s arrival I was reminded of what it means to abide in Christ.
Join me over at Faith Gateway as I share what I learned. There’s also some tips on how we cant teach our kids to abide in Christ too!
How to Persevere and Overcome Fear with Faith
Every time he lost I had to hold myself back from running up to my son to hug and kiss the crushing disappointment away. Despite my experience with the sport, it was hard to see my son struggle with so much emotion. I wanted to make it easy for him. I wanted to rescue him.
Thankfully I didn’t. Because it became the season that he learned how to perseverance and overcome his fear with faith.
My son walked off the wrestling mat with tears in his eyes and said, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
He was so excited when the season started; however, it didn’t take long for him to become discouraged. The practices were great, his teammates and coaches affirming and fun to be around. However, he was getting his behind kicked when he competed against other teams. Match after match my son tried not to cry as the referees declared his opponent the winner.
Every time he lost I had to hold myself back from running up to my son to hug and kiss the crushing disappointment away. Despite my experience with the sport, it was hard to see my son struggle with so much emotion. I wanted to make it easy for him. I wanted to rescue him.
Thankfully I didn’t. Because it became the season that he learned how to perseverance and overcome his fear with faith.
You can READ MORE about it over at Faith Gateway.
On Embracing Your Uniqueness
Growing up I felt like I didn’t fit in.
I was athletic enough to be on the team but not good enough to play in the games. I was friends at school with the popular kids but never invited to hang out with them after school was out. I wanted to play sports with the boys on my block while my friends just wanted to sit around and talk about them. I was smart and got good grades but took art instead of math, typing, and business like my friends.
It hasn’t entirely changed now that I am older. For years I indulged in a pity party but now I am doing things differently. Join me over at Faith Gateway to READ MORE.
Growing up I felt like I didn’t fit in.
I was athletic enough to be on the team but not good enough to play in the games. I was friends at school with the popular kids but never invited to hang out with them after school was out. I wanted to play sports with the boys on my block while my friends just wanted to sit around and talk about them. I was smart and got good grades but took art instead of math, typing, and business like my friends.
It hasn’t entirely changed now that I am older. For years I indulged in a pity party but now I am doing things differently. Join me over at Faith Gateway to READ MORE.
Pumpkin Spice and a Little Bear That’s Nice
To celebrate the cooler temperature and the turning color of leaves, I offer you not another product laced with pumpkin spice but a few but interesting facts about the fruit, yes fruit, that is causing such a stir.
To celebrate the cooler temperature and the turning color of leaves, I offer you not another product laced with pumpkin spice but a few but interesting facts about the fruit, yes fruit, that is causing such a stir.
Join me over at FaithGateway for pumpkins facts you and your kids will love!
The Benefits of Journaling Especially for Kids
I’m amazed at the things I forget because I don’t write them down. I am not just talking about what I need to do on a particular day or week; I’m referring to beautiful things God has done in my life and the truth I have learned through spending time with Him. Thankfully, I have journaled over the years, and I’m able to go back through the pages and remind myself of the goodness of God. As I do this, my faith grows.
I’m amazed at the things I forget because I don’t write them down. I am not just talking about what I need to do on a particular day or week; I’m referring to beautiful things God has done in my life and the truth I have learned through spending time with Him. Thankfully, I have journaled over the years, and I’m able to go back through the pages and remind myself of the goodness of God. As I do this, my faith grows.
Join me over at Faith Gateway to learn about the other benefits of journaling and how you and your kids can get started with this life-changing practice. READ MORE...
How to Help Your Kids Crush Comparison
At a young age, kids start to compare themselves and place their value and worth in how they measure up to their peers. Comparison is rarely healthy, and most of the time leaves us feeling discouraged and insecure. Moreover, it robs our kids of joy and prevents them from embracing who God created them to be.
At a young age, kids start to compare themselves and place their value and worth in how they measure up to their peers. Comparison is rarely healthy, and most of the time leaves us feeling discouraged and insecure. Moreover, it robs our kids of joy and prevents them from embracing who God created them to be.
I am over at Faith Gateway sharing a few ways as parents we can help our children avoid the trap of comparison. Join me there...
How to Help Kids Navigate Change and Uncertainty
Do you have a child facing a new change or struggle?
When my kids feel helpless, the first thing I want to do is fix what’s broken. But If I am not careful, I will create a culture in my home of making sure my kids are always comfortable. It may feel loving to stay one step ahead of the obstacles my kids may face, however, a parent’s job isn’t to be there for their kids all the time. It’s to teach them how to problem-solve and prepare them for life without us.
Do you have a child facing a change or transition?
When my kids feel helpless, the first thing I want to do is fix what’s broken. But If I am not careful, I will create a culture in my home of making sure my kids are always comfortable. It may feel loving to stay one step ahead of the obstacles my kids may face, however, a parent’s job isn’t to be there for their kids all the time. It’s to teach them how to problem-solve and prepare them for life without us.
Meet me at Faith Gateway to read about how to help kids navigate change and uncertainty. Read more
The Benefits of Playing Hide-and-Seek
When I was young, I loved playing Hide-and-Seek. While finding the perfect hiding spot, we'd often found objects among the trees. It was mostly stuff that people threw away, but to my friends and me these items were treasures. With each new find, we created an imaginary story about where they came from.
There are so many benefits to kids playing games like these! Join me over at Faith Gateway to READ MORE...
When I was young, I loved playing Hide-and-Seek. While finding the perfect hiding spot, we'd often found objects among the trees. It was mostly stuff that people threw away, but to my friends and me these items were treasures. With each new find, we created an imaginary story about where they came from.
There are so many benefits to kids playing games like these! Join me over at Faith Gateway to READ MORE...
A Few Ways You Can Touch Someone With Your Written Words
One of the things I miss most from my pre-smartphone days is getting a personal note in the mail. Even though emails are super convenient, they can not replace the feeling you get from receiving a postcard from a family member on vacation or a letter from a friend far away.
In the book, Easter Love Letters from God, kids can experience what it is like to get a letter from their Heavenly Father.
Join me other at Faith Gateway to READ MORE about this wonderful kid's book plus read about a few ways you can touch someone with your written words.
One of the things I miss most from my pre-smartphone days is getting a personal note in the mail. Even though emails are super convenient, they can not replace the feeling you get from receiving a postcard from a family member on vacation or a letter from a friend far away.
In the book, Easter Love Letters from God, kids can experience what it is like to get a letter from their Heavenly Father.
Join me other at Faith Gateway to READ MORE about this wonderful kid's book plus read about a few ways you can touch someone with your written words.
The Benefit of Creating a Values Driven Culture
Everyone values something. Once you have identified what it is that you value you are better able to make it show up in your life, you gain clarity, which allows you to be successful in what matters the most to you.
Everyone values something. Once you have identified what it is that you value you are better able to make it show up in your life, you gain clarity, which allows you to be successful in what matters the most to you.
As a busy mom, I love the potential this has. I make decisions all the time and because I am the primary caregiver here at home, many of those decisions I make on my own. I can do it with confidence because the values my husband and I have established have created a framework for our family’s culture.
Being confident in our values eliminates time, stress, and guesswork that would otherwise slow me down and cause me to get stuck. << CLICK TO TWEET
There was a time when I used to volunteer for everything. My kids were little, and since I was a stay-at-home mom, I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Eventually, I put boundaries in place began to do less. But then a friend of mine asked if I was interested in being the committee chair for the TREP$ Entrepreneurship Education Program at my children’s school. My daughter had already participated in the program the year before and loved it. I immediately said, “YES!”
Biblical financial stewardship is one of our family’s core values, so being a part of this program was a value fit for us. We’ve been talking to our kids about money management principles such as Give - Save - Spend since they were four years old. Over the years they’ve earned money by doing extra chores around the house and selling lemonade. They’ve learned to manage a budget and be responsible consumers.
You can more read about it HERE, or you can listen to this The Family Culture Project Episode 7 for the full story.
Prefer the ease of listening to reading? No problem! Just click play to hear this episode of The Family Culture Project.
My husband is the Marketplace Coordinator and handles all the details of the program’s main event. When my kids were young, they participated in the program, and now that they are older, they help teach class plus help with the setup and clean up of the Marketplace.
The program takes a lot of time and energy, but it’s worth the sacrifice because we know we are apart of something that matters to us as a family and the community. There is a purpose in it, and over time it has become what our family is known for.
In addition to having confidence in my YESes, knowing my values give me confidence in my NOs.<< CLICK TO TWEET
I no longer feel guilty about not volunteering for bake sales or book fairs. These are great ways to get involved in my kid’s school, but they are just not for me. They would stress me out and take me away from the projects I am passionate about.
Business or organizations typically have tangible goals like sales numbers, units sold, people impacted to measure success. We don’t have those types of goals as a family, however, If I can look at my calendar and see my values align with my activities I know I am living my best life. And by that I mean, I have confidence in what I am doing. I don’t compare myself to others and wonder about my purpose.
Want to identify your values and start cultivating your family's culture?
I have created a Core Values Kit that will walk you through the process of determining your values. You can download it for free HERE.
To determine if your values are driving your life ask yourself these questions:
What do my actions say my values are?
Looks at your calendar, are the appointments and activities align with your values?
How am I spending my time, money, energy?
What are you passionate about?
What do you love to do that you are not doing?
What do you want to be known for?
Family values give you a sense of purpose. In times of stress, crises, or transition they automatically guide you. The better you know yourself and what you believe, the more confidence you’ll have in decision making. You’ll be better able weather the hard times and navigate struggle.
Knowing your values will ultimately provide clarity and success for your family.
How What We Allow in our Home Affects our Family Culture
I received an email from my son's teacher recently. It was about his unkind behavior towards a friend. At first I was tempted to defend him and make excuses. But ultimately I realized I needed to examine our family's culture to see what I was allowing at home.
Join me over at Faith Gateway to read the full story.
I received an email from my son's teacher recently. It was about his unkind behavior towards a friend. At first I was tempted to defend him and make excuses. But ultimately I realized I needed to examine our family's culture to see what I was allowing at home.
Join me over at Faith Gateway to read the full story...
May the Faith Be with You
What I learned about God and His creation as a child laid the foundation for the awe and wonder I still have for who God is. Your child can have the same footing as they dig into God’s Word with these books!
As a child, I loved learning that God created the sun, moon, and stars on the fourth day. I was amazed to learn that a light year is the distance covered by light in a single year, which is equal to 5.88 trillion miles, and that the Milky Way is around 100,00 lights years wide.
What I learned about God and His creation as a child laid the foundation for the awe and wonder I still have for who God is. Your child can have the same footing as they dig into God’s Word with these books!
Beyond Our Imagination: God’s Great Love
My son lost his first tooth while we were on vacation. He was thrilled. Since he has two big sisters, he knew what to expect. Since our family celebrates imagination in our kids, he couldn’t wait to go to sleep because the next morning there would be “fairy dust” on the ground and a surprise under his pillow.
Join me over at Faith Gateway as I share how losing a tooth turned into the perfect opportunity to teach my son about God's omnipresence. Read more here...
My son lost his first tooth while we were on vacation. He was thrilled. Since he has two big sisters, he knew what to expect. Since our family celebrates imagination in our kids, he couldn’t wait to go to sleep because the next morning there would be “fairy dust” on the ground and a surprise under his pillow.
Then all of a sudden his smile turned upside down and tears filled his eyes. He said, “Mommy, how is the tooth fairy going to find me?”
Join me over at Faith Gateway as I share how losing a tooth turned into the perfect opportunity to teach my son about God's omnipresence. Read more here...
Different Kids, One God
If you are the parent of more than one child you know that no two kids are created the same.
The more I understand my kids' inherent difference, the better mom I can be to my daughters and the better relationship I can have with them.
Over the years I’ve trusted God to show me how to parent them in unique and individual ways. It’s been a process of trial and error that has deepened my reliance on God and His wisdom. He knows more about them than I do because he created them.
Join me over at Faith Gateway to read more.
If you are the parent of more than one child you know that no two kids are created the same.
The more I understand my kids' inherent difference, the better mom I can be to my daughters and the better relationship I can have with them.
Over the years I’ve trusted God to show me how to parent them in unique and individual ways. It’s been a process of trial and error that has deepened my reliance on God and His wisdom. He knows more about them than I do because he created them.
Join me over at Faith Gateway to read more.
How to Combat Negative Thoughts with God's Truth
Each time negative thoughts enter my mind I can choose to dwell on them or think something different. Positive thinking helps, but God’s Word and prayer are even more powerful. Negative thoughts and emotions don’t discriminate. Both children and adults have to decide if they’ll allow them to linger in their mind.
I’d been known to listen to whatever thoughts popped into my head and believe them to be true. I've entertained negative thoughts about my self-worth and let my emotions breed discontent. It's not pretty, it typically makes me grumpy and impatient with others. Then insecurity sets in and it keeps me from pursuing the things I love.
Each time negative thoughts enter my mind I can choose to dwell on them or think something different. Positive thinking helps, but God’s Word and prayer are even more powerful.
Negative thoughts and emotions don’t discriminate. Both children and adults have to decide if they’ll allow them to linger in their mind.
I'd love for you to join me over at Faith Gateway where I share my experience with overcoming negative thoughts and emotions plus an incredible resource that teaches kids how to do the same. Read More...