Why You Should Assess Where Your Family Culture is Now


Change starts with awareness. This is true in every area of life, including family culture!

As I mentioned in a previous post, there was a time when our busy schedule created a culture of survival in our family. We’d often say to one another, “Let’s just get through this week.” After we got through one week, there was still another that wasn’t much different from the one before. One week turned into a month; a month turned into a year. Frantic was no longer the exception, it was our norm.

At the time I was volunteering for everything, because as a stay at home mom, I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. We lacked community and were scattered in different directions, doing our own thing.

To make a change we had to be honest with ourselves about where we were and how we felt about the life we were living. At first this step made me uncomfortable. I already knew we needed a change. I wanted a quick fix, and I didn’t want this to slow us down.

But, at the end of asking ourselves the hard question, “How are we really doing?, we discovered common threads in our choices. We were thrilled with the areas of our life we built with intention and unhappy in the places where ‘no decision’ became the decision, and where “let’s see what happens” guided us.

In order to successfully move forward in the family culture building process, it's important to know where you are starting from. << Tweet This!

Keep in mind; you don't have to be failing miserably in any one area for this to be worth doing. The assessment stage simply reveals if you’ll need to take significant steps to get you where you want to be, or if you just need make a few tweaks.

If you are married, it is ideal to do this activity with your spouse. However, I know that’s not always possible. I want to encourage you to do this work anyway. Whether you are a single parent or have a partner that’s not on board with this, you can still have a significant impact on your family through small intentional steps that are anchored in what matters to you.

Here are the steps that you can take:

  • Pray – Invite God into the process.

  • Assess - Give each of the areas of your family life a rating between 1 and 10, along with a few thoughts on why you chose that number.

Categories are:

– Community/Friendships

– Family Relationships (spouse, immediate family, and extended family)

– Spiritual + Personal Growth

– Recreation

1 means you are not satisfied in this area and want to see radical change. 10 indicates you are happy with where you are and can’t imagine things being any different.

Feel free to create additional categories!

  • Write down your answers. - I highly recommend this. In my experience, this really allows me to think deeply and explore what comes to mind. Plus it serves as a reference when you start building and implementing culture. I also love that you can look back at what you’ve written to remind yourself how far you’ve come.

You can do this activity on any piece of paper; however, I have created a handy guide to walk you through the process. You can download it for free in the show notes of episode 03 of The Family Culture Project.

  • Sit with your answers. - Don’t try to explain them away or change them immediately. Consider the circumstances or choices that got you where you are. And absolutely, don’t get stuck in the negative, be mindful of the good in each area!!

Your next steps will be easier to decide after you’ve done this.

Once my husband and I examined and shared where we were in each area, we were better equipped to talk about what we wanted for our family, which ultimately set us up for success in the culture building process. Doing it as a couple, helped us to know and understand each other’s perspective better.

How is your family doing? You can leave your response in the comment or email me. I am here to cheer you on.


Prefer the ease of listening to reading? No problem! Just click play to hear this episode of The Family Culture Project.


Change starts with awareness. This is true in every area of your life. Your Family’s Culture is no different! In order to successfully leap forward in the family culture building process it’s best to know where you are starting from.

Need help with the assessment process? There is an incredible resource in the show notes you don't want to miss!